A Dude's Rescue Team
by FruitfulMelonCauli
Summary: One day, the Dude wakes up as a Pokémon; his friends are Pokémon, too... Did the Dude expect this to happen? No. Does he want to be part of a rescue team? Absolutely not. What happens when he is forced into these situations? Based on Red/Blue Rescue Team with a slice of life. Rated M for explicit language and possible sexual references in the future.


_**A Dude's Rescue Team**_  
 _Chapter 1: Waking Up_  
Author's Note: When I watched The Big Lebowski back in September 2015, it became one of my favorites alongside The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Inside Out. (Both movies I watched earlier that year, and absolutely loved!) I wanted to write a fanfic about the Lebowski characters, and at the same time, I wanted to write a Pokémon Mystery Dungeon crossover fic, so I figured, why not make an Xover with these two things? I started working on this in October 2015, but due to heavy procrastination and other real-life stuff, I never got to publish it until now.

This is the second story in the Railroad Crossing trilogy, the first being Star Eds

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon Mystery Dungeon (Or the main games, for that matter) or the Big Lebowski. Shut the fuck up, Donny.

* * *

The Dude was lying down, as if there was a bed under him. He was floating over a flower field. He could feel a pleasant breeze blowing in his hair.  
A monarch butterfly, one of America's most majestic creatures, landed on his nose for a rest. After a bit, it flew away in style, gliding on the wind currents. The Dude chased after it, making grabbing motions like a child would.  
They were joined by another monarch followed by even more right after. Pretty soon, the sky was filled with monarch butterflies, gloriously flying up high in the sky.  
Seed pods opened, releasing hundreds, perhaps thousands of seeds into the air, accompanying the Dude and the monarchs on their flight.  
Bees were buzzing, birds were singing, and tumbleweeds were tumbling under the big, blue sky.  
Nature was clearly the most beautiful thing out there.

* * *

"Dude! Wake up!" a voice called. The voice clearly sounded like his friend Walter Sobchak, but it seemed like it came from something different.  
"Walter?" the Dude groaned, getting up. He was looking around, wondering how he got here before his eyes fixated on the peculiar being with Walter's voice. "You look funny."  
"Well, so do you, Dude."  
"What the hell are you talking about? And how do you know who I am?"  
"Calm your tits, dude, it's me!"  
"You're not Walter! Walter's a human!"  
They went at it for a bit before a blue turtle behind them made a puking noise. Walter and the Dude turned in his direction and saw the turtle and his water puddle.  
"Have you been drinking too much, man?" asked the Dude. The turtle was just staring at his reflection.  
"Yeah, what the hell are you doing?" barked Walter.  
The Dude and Walter took a peek at their own reflections in the same puddle and saw that their appearances had changed.  
"...What the fuck?" muttered the Dude.  
Walter was a lizard-dragon thing with a flame on his tail. And the Dude was some weird quadruped with an equally weird green bulb on his back. He was still fat, too.  
"This can't be..."  
"What can't be?" asked the blue turtle.  
"Shut the fuck up; You're just like Donny!" the Dude and Walter said at the same time.  
"Wait, maybe this is Donny," said Walter, looking at the turtle's bulging eyes. "Am I wrong?"  
"Of course you're wrong!" replied the Dude. "Our Donny's dead!"  
"What are you talking about?" asked the turtle. "I'm here."  
"Old friend or complete stranger, we'll call you Donny from now on because you won't shut the fuck up!" snapped Walter.  
"But that's my name."  
"Shut the fuck up, Donny!"

* * *

"Please! Somebody!" a panicked voice cried from far away. The source of the panicked voice flew to the three. It was a butterfly-like Pokémon called a Butterfree, and she looked quite stressed out. "It's horrible! My poor baby Caterpie has gotten lost in Tiny Woods!"  
"Err..." began the Dude.  
"A humongous fissure opened in the ground, and he got lodged in! He's too young to get out by himself!"  
"Why can't you rescue him yourself, man?"  
"Well, I tried," said the Butterfree. "But the Pokémon in the woods attacked me! They must've been enraged by the fissure, and now they're out of control! I can't fend them off! I'm not strong enough! What will I do? Oh, dear... Please, I don't know what will happen to my baby if nobody will rescue him..."  
"We'll help," offered Walter.  
"Walter, I did not want to turn into some weird plant-animal hybrid. Now you drag us into this?"  
"Come on, Dude! The woman's baby is in peril!"  
"But-"  
"Shut the fuck up, Dude, you're coming with me, like it or not!" Walter snapped. Then he turned to Donny. "Donny, make yourself useful. Stay here and guard the entrance in case he decides to bail out."  
And Walter dragged the Dude into Tiny Woods by his leg. There was absolutely no way the Dude was going to get out of this.

* * *

 _Hmm..._ thought the Dude. _This should be quick and easy._  
Suddenly, a Pidgey flew up to him and attacked.  
"Ow!" he cried. The pecking really stung, considering he was a Grass type now.  
"Hey, you! Stay away from my friend!" yelled Walter, growling at the Pidgey. With a few scratches and a quick headbutt, the Pidgey fainted.  
"Phew," said the Dude. "That was close!"  
They walked for a little bit around the area. While walking, Walter had found some coins that appeared to him to be the currency of this peculiar world. Perhaps someone had lost their money? Whatever. Finders, keepers. The Dude also found a few berries to eat and chowed them down. He hadn't eaten anything in quite a while. For some mysterious reason, his wounds healed rather quickly. Walter rolled his eyes. It was very typical of the Dude, a very laid-back being, to treat food like a luxury.  
"Mmm... Walter, these berries are sure tart! Want some?"  
"Dude, let's go! The woman's gonna cry about her baby if we don't move!"  
"Alright, man, alright!"  
They delved deeper into the woods, fending off any attacking Pokémon that might get in the way. They looked all over the forest for the baby. In fact, they ended up going in circles several times, and it was rather tedious without a compass of some sort.  
"Oh, great," muttered the Dude. "We're totally lost! I thought it was impossible, but no, it had to happen! We'll never find the baby!"  
"You're giving up already?" chided Walter. "Dude, this is urgent! We have to find the baby!"  
"Don't push our luck, Walter."  
"Dude, we aren't pushing our luck!"  
"And? I can't believe you dragged me into this, man!"  
"You're not acting very dude-like, Dude! Besides, if you want to rest, you are going to help me find the fucking baby!"  
"Sigh... Alright, Walter."  
They continued looking for the baby, but to no avail.

Within minutes, however, their luck had changed.  
"We're almost there, Dude," Walter said. "I hear crying! We're near the missing baby!"  
"Walter, keep it down. You're disturbing the sleeping creatures, man," whispered the Dude.  
The irate Pokémon swarmed around the Dude and Walter, deprived of sleep.  
"Well, here we go," muttered Walter.  
The Pokémon assaulted the two using moves like Tackle and Absorb. (Thankfully, the latter wasn't very effective on the two.) They were quite tough, but the Dude and Walter fought back with Tackles and Scratches respectively. Pretty soon, the wild Pokémon were defeated.  
"Good, we're safe," said the Dude, heaving a sigh of relief. He looked quite bruised after that skirmish.  
"Now let's get to the baby!" declared Walter.  
However, they were surrounded a second time as soon as they started again. They knew what they had to do before they could get to the baby...

* * *

The baby Caterpie was stuck in the fissure, feeling hopeless.  
"Waaaaah..." he sobbed. "Mommy... Where are you...?"  
"Your mother sent us here to rescue you," said a deep voice. The source of the voice walked up to the fissure and peered into it. "There you are, little one."  
"Sniffle... Are you a monster?" Caterpie asked Walter.  
"No. Stop crying, you're safe now," said Walter, showing his softer side. Caterpie was still sobbing. Walter lost his patience quickly. "I said, STOP CRYING!"  
"Walter, you're only making him cry even more by yelling," reminded the Dude. Walter, as usual, did not listen. He unconsciously exhaled a little fire out of absolute frustration. Caterpie, afraid of fire, screamed, jumped out of the fissure, and ran away.  
"WAAH! YOU REALLY ARE A MONSTER!" he cried. "AND YOUR FRIEND IS MOST LIKELY A MONSTER TOO!"  
"What?" asked the Dude.  
"We're not Monsters Incorporated!" called Walter.  
"Walter, this is no time to be funny, we have to catch him!"  
"Well, at least we got him out of that damn fissure!"

Donny was napping at the entrance to Tiny Woods when Caterpie tripped over his tail. Donny woke up and tried to catch him, failing miserably. Caterpie fled, hiding somewhere.  
"Where'd he go, Donny?" asked the Dude. He and Walter had just got out of Tiny Woods.  
"He ran into the bush," informed Donny.  
"Thank you, Donny. For twice, you're useful," muttered Walter.  
Caterpie ran into another bush. hoping to evade the three.  
"Donny, help us catch him!" called the Dude.  
"What do I do?" asked Donny.  
"I said, help us catch him! Were you listening, man?"  
And Donny said nothing.  
The three made a triangle around the bush Caterpie was hiding in, careful as to not make too much noise. The three jumped into the bush, hoping to catch Caterpie, but Caterpie jumped out of the bush at the same time. Shortly after he jumped, a ball-like capsule flew out of nowhere. The capsule sucked in Caterpie and sealed.  
"Gotcha!" said a human. The Dude, Walter, and Donny panicked as they realized they had gotten smaller, considering this person's size compared to them. But the Dude decided to speak up.  
"Hey, human!" called the Dude, popping out of the bush. "You can't take this poor baby!"  
"What? A talking Bulbasaur?" asked the trainer.*  
 _So that's what I am,_ the Dude thought. "That's right, I'm talking to you, man! Now free him!"  
Now the trainer was the one who was frightened. He didn't know what to say or do, so he ran away, scared out of his wits. He didn't expect a Pokémon to go and pull something like that!  
"Well, on the bright side, the baby can't escape now," said Donny.  
"Shut the fuck up, Donny," replied Walter. "We'll never get him out!"

* * *

After that mishap, the three went to see Caterpie's mother.  
"Have you found my baby?" she asked.  
"We found your baby," said Walter. "But-"  
"We saw a human as well," added Donny.  
"Shut the-" Walter began before the Butterfree interrupted.  
"Humans... I recall being owned by a human... Believe her name was Skylar," reminisced the Butterfree, opening up her locket. "Her ID was 57282, and..."  
"The human caught your child in this ball," interrupted Donny. "The human was not a girl."  
"Shut up, I'm busy reminiscing about my trainer..."  
"What about Caterpie?"  
"My husband can open Poké Balls. Don't worry. You know what? I'm so thankful I don't know how I can thank you properly..."  
"Forget about it, man," said the Dude. "It's fine."  
"Well, may I at least have your names?"  
"Walter Sobchak."  
"Gee... Your voice sounds deep for a Charmander..."  
"Well, err, yeah... I take steroids, okay?" lied Walter. "Now where was I? Oh, yeah, my friend Donny is the turtle."  
"You mean a Squirtle?"  
"Yeah, I suppose..."  
"And I'm Jeff Lebowski... You can just call me the Dude."  
"Pleased to meet you guys!" the Butterfree responded. "Say, would you guys like to have dinner at my home?"  
"Dinner? Well, sure, why not?"  
"Dude," butted in Walter. "Seriously? Dinner with a stranger?"  
"Oh, you're no strangers, you rescued my precious baby!" giggled the Butterfree. And the boys made a face at her.

* * *

*I imagined that a human turned into a Pokémon would naturally have the ability to speak.

Stay tuned for the next chapter! (Though it may be long because I have school starting Wednesday.)

Dedicated to David Huddleston 1930-2016


End file.
